Pregnant Days

Week 20: Vaginal Discharge & Perfumed Sanitary Towels

It’s time to talk about vaginal discharge. If this topic “totally grosses” you out then all I can say is “catch yourself on” in my best Jim McDonald voice. All women get it to some extent. But, pregnant women bring vaginal discharge to a whole new level. If vaginal discharge were a sport they would be Olympians.

Their body is going doolally with hormone changes especially the vagina. The NHS puts it better than I can, “during pregnancy the cervix (neck of the womb) and vaginal walls get softer, and discharge increases to help prevent any infections traveling up from the vagina to the womb.”

Herself is embarrassed by this new change.
“My feckin’ knickers are ruined. I can’t go on like this… maybe I can get signed off from work and just draw the curtains.”
“No doctor will sign you off for twenty weeks because of vaginal discharge.”
“Well they should!”

Defeated she bought a pack of sanitary towels yet she made the huge mistake of getting perfumed pads.

Fanny pad companies aka sanitary towel multinationals have managed to create the most disgusting perfume to mask a vagina’s odour. I’m sure it’s called Eau du we hate vaginas oh la la. If people didn’t know you were discharging like a waterfall then they sure as feck know once they get a bang of that nasty cheap chemical perfume.

If you wash daily then I don’t understand the need for a perfumed pad. I get the need for a pad because things can get uncomfortable down there (if you’ve never been pregnant or are a man then your mind will be blown at how much a vagina can produce… it’s like pissing your pants).

I realise that I am talking about perfumed pads and vaginal discharge ad nauseum because it really bothers me the message it gives out. A woman’s natural smell is somehow bad yet why don’t these companies make perfumed envelope type pads for a penis and scrotum… unless it smells of spring flowers down there all the time? I’ve no idea, I’m a lezzer after all.


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