Week 23: A Lesbian film & André Rieu

I came home to herself holding her iPhone to her belly. She was blasting André Rieu. He’s a Dutch violinist that makes the elderly think very naughty sexual things… seriously, he’s the classical music world’s Fabio.
“WTF are you doing?”
“The baby can hear music now.”
“So you’re playing it music that turns the over sixties on?” She switched it off in a huff.
“Mum said it’s cultured music.”
“Yeah but do you like it?”
“Then play something you do like.” Cue 90’s RnB aka baby making music. That baby is going to get someone pregnant.


LGBTQ films are for the most part shite. Lesbian falls for straight woman. Straight woman realises she is gay and they open up a car mechanics together. Or teenage lesbian struggles with her sexuality, her family turn their back on her so she runs away to Portland and falls in love with a lesbian carpenter. They live happily ever after.

Anyhow like I said they are usually crap so we never watch them. Yet sometimes you just get sick of the straight romances. Big burly country man rescues difficult city girl from herself. Ugly annoying man bags hot and intelligent woman with his shit jokes.

Last night we tried Netflix. I suggested that we do something different. I decided to read the reviews of the LGBTQ films but I only managed to read one before we wet ourselves (with laughter) thus ending film night.

That is an actually review of the film, “Below Her Mouth.” Do you think the reviewer’s wife is still with him/her?

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